“You may now kiss the bride!”
Sola didn’t waste any more time before latching on her husband’s lips. She sucked on his bottom lips with the fervor of someone that is long starved of human contact. Femi, the new husband, had to gently push, and stir her away, and out of the church before she lost her mind to the kiss…, forgetting they weren’t alone.
The venue of the wedding reception was literally decorated with extravagance. Sola, on the decorated platform, beside her husband, gazed at the huge chandelier staring down at the guest from the ceiling and wondered how many people would die and how many would get injured if the golden glory should fall. But her mind wasn’t actually there.
The MC was a hilarious idiot, that is always trying to make people laugh even when they didn’t want to.
“Can he not see people are eating? What if they choked,” Sola mused. But her mind still wasn’t there.
The hall was filled to capacity with guests, invited and not invited. Not exactly, they were probably invited by the invited guests…, that makes them invited, right? Well, whatever. Some were there for the food, some came to see if the bride could dance, some came to see if the event would be well coordinated, some came to see if the bride’s mother would fight with the caterer, and some came to wish them well. That was not where her mind was, still.
Sola’s excitement started building up when the ceremony was moving to an end. The best man was giving his speech, you know the drill, about how he’d known the groom since diaper days and have never parted ways ever since…, ‘okay we get it, get to the point dude……Okay, I think he heard that cos he did.’
“…I know my man is already thinking of getting out of here and having his woman to himself…”
Somebody is finally making sense and speaking in the line of her thoughts. Sola’s laugh was finally reaching her face. Hmm. Don’t blame her, Sola and Femi had dated for 7 years and they enjoyed bouts of mind-blowing sex for five years before Femi suddenly came up with the idea of celibacy. It was hard to live with but she couldn’t leave the man she loved because of something that was finally going to be hers. Besides, Femi was like a stallion in bed and right from that moment, they simply couldn’t wait for the party to be over.
On the other hand, Femi received the bestman’s statement with mixed emotions. The smile on his face, was like that of someone that is chewing bitterleaf with honey. Dunno how that actually tastes but whatever. Guess we’ll find out what’s up later.
The newly wedded couple finally escaped the numerous relatives that wanted to greet and congratulate them after the party. They went to their new home in a chauffeured vehicle and as soon as they arrived the house, Sola was ready to pounce on her husband but strained herself to be a little bit more patient.
In the bedroom, Sola expected her man to be as excited as she was and thought to help him get in the mood. She retrieved all of her seduction moves from the past and started her businesses of turning her already half sleepy husband on. Femi groaned and turned on his back, moved her perfectly manicured fingers off him and said, “Baby, let us pray.”
‘What!’ She thought, ‘But he was almost asleep without praying, why now? Okay let’s pray.’ And they prayed for 45 minutes before saying the grace. Femi was going to go back to sleep but Sola was having none of it. She pressed warm kisses on his face and moved her hands on his bare chest and down to his crotch, but Femi was quick to grab her hand.
“FM, what’s wrong? Stop this now, we’re already married!”
“I’m sorry, darling”
“Why are you sorry? Okay just forget it and let’s do. Touch me like a woman that I am, it’s been 2 years for Christ sake!”
“Baby, I can’t do.”
“FM! What’s the problem now? Are you tired due the days festivities or you no longer find me attractive?”
“I am tired.”
“Fine, you don’t have to do anything. Just let me caress that beautiful…”
Femi out of frustration raised his voice as he rolled to face his wife, “Sola, sleep for godsake. Leave me alone.”
Feeling bested, Sola stood up from the bed, went to turn off the room light, and laid beside her husband. There in the dark room, nothing came to her mind, but why this all of a sudden change. Femi used to be a husky during sex. He never was satisfied, so they usually went several rounds before he could say he was satisfied. Sola loved it because of the way they both climaxed together. It was always magical.
“Femi! Are you cheating on me?”
Her husband murmured.
With intensity, she increased her voice, “I said are you cheating on me?”
“Ohh God. Why don’t you just want to sleep woman.”
“Me, woman. Honey, baby, soso has now turned to woman abi. Whoever you are, give me my husband back Ohh.”
“It’s still me…, okay. Now go and sleep,” He said calmly.
“FM! Did I do anything bad, that you’ve decided to punish me like this?”
“God, no.”
“If you don’t touch me this night, all hell would break loose Ohh. Heeehhhh. Femi! Touch me now. I can’t wait two years and start having this nonsense reaction from you. Touch me now or… In fact.”
Sola turned and briskly touched in between her husbands leg and couldn’t believe it. She felt his penis and could feel his balls. He was very hard. Femi turned to her and said, “Babe, just let today slide. Please.”
“Why? Seems I’ve tempted you enough, why can’t I just hop on you?”
“I’m sorry I’ve not been entirely honest. When I told us to stop having sex, it was after a brief conversation with my father before he passed on last year. He said that in our family, we have always raised good children because our ancestors have obeyed one single rule. Never have sex on your wedding night.”
“When has this one been going on?” Sola asked with a disgusting expression on her face.
“Before I was born. My great great grandfather was a thief. He was so hungry one day he went to steal food from a native doctor. The Juju trapped him in the shrine for a whole day. The native doctor came the next day and told someone to call our disturbed family. When they came, he told them to bring certain things, which he sacrificed to appease the gods. According to him, the gods said they would have made everyone in the family a thief if my family hadn’t come to the shrine. Funny enough, before they came to the shrine, my great grandfather had already stolen twenty pieces of meat from his mother’s pot and denied it. Well, as restitution, the gods gave us the most absurd rule. ‘Never have sex on your wedding night.’
“Wow. A family of thieves.”
“You said what?”
“No, I’m just fantasizing the notion of you being a thief.”
Femi laughed and said, “So dear wife, please. Tomorrow, we’ll turn the house upside down having sex. Let’s just have tonight to sleep in peace, okay?”
“Hmmm, I can’t stay with you in this room Ohh. Else, I’ll be forced to rape you tonight.”
They both laughed as Sola took a pillow, and a wrapper, to the parlour to sleep on the couch. Femi closed his eyes and went to bed.
By 4am, Femi walked into the parlor and met Sola sleeping with the wrapper she had carried from their room. He covered her properly, and gently placed a kiss on her lips.
Sola stirred and saw the man she’s loved fiercely for seven years as she said, “Has the night passed?”
Femi kissed her so intimately and fiercely as he said, “Let’s go wild.”
Writing by Neeyarh and CJ Ellah.
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Damn!😂😂
This is something from two people I look up to and have learned a lot from. Besides, I thought we needed a comic relief 😅😅😅😅😅
Write! 